Always know where the allen is....

August 21, 2006

Current mood:amused

Have you ever had one of those evenings where all you want to do is take a couple of advil and go to sleep? I intended to do just that as I logged off last night. My son had other plans for me. The events of the evening made me realize just how important it is to always know where your allen wrench is in the toolbox.

I heard my son calling for me and turned to see what he needed. There in the doorway of my office was a footstool with arms and legs. The child had somehow gotten his head stuck in the middle of the bars at the bottom of the stool. I thought he could be trying to play a prank on me, but after a couple of tugs, I realized he really was stuck. After helping him lay on the couch and placing a pillow between his head and the screws on the other side, I went in search of my allen wrench.

I could not find the stupid little thing, so I went back to the living room to try again on pulling his head through. Still did not work. I told him that if we were not able to locate one, we would try smearing Crisco all over his head. He did not find that the least bit funny. I called my dad to ask him to bring his up and again went to search for mine. I finally located it after dumping the entire contents of my toolbox all over my bed. While waiting for my dad to get here so I would have an extra set of hands, I did what any normal mother would do.I got the camera. Once my dad got here, we were able to get the stool apart enough for Hayden to get his head out.

After he was out with his ears still attached, I was able to quiz him on how he ended up in that situation to begin with. Apparently, he was pushing the stool from the tv where he was using it to play a game and it bumped the chair. Next thing he knew, his head was smack in the middle of the bars. His words were Its like my head teleported into it.

So people ALWAYS know where your allen wrenches are and keep the camera handy just in case. Here is a picture of what he looked like.

How About those Late Night Swims

June 29, 2006

Current mood:exhausted

Not much beats a late night swim...right? Picture yourself just sitting in a chair watching a rerun of Friends, relaxing a bit and winding down to get ready for bed. Now you get this phone call from your neighbor in a dead panic.
"Can you go under the water when you swim?!"
"Uh....yeah....why?"
"I need your help...please....I cannot go under the water to the bottom."
Something about a leak somewhere in the convo...but you couldn't make it all out between all the "Oh My God" being thrown in.
You throw your suit on, grab a t-shirt and flops and hit the door. Once you get there, you see your neighbor standing at the side of her pool.
"I have a leak and it keeps getting bigger. I just can't go under the water and I don't know what to do."
By the look of the water coming out, it seems the hole is around the size of a dime. Your neighbor prepares the patch while you shuck your shirt and climb in. You swim over to the right side and try to feel for the hole with your toe...not happening. You dive under and run your hand along the bottom (yeah...just HAD to be at the very freaking bottom). You finally find the hole after coming up for breath a couple of times. It is much easier to find now since it has become the size of a half dollar. You found the hole, but just how are you going to patch it while holding your breath and unable to see....it is a bit dark and you have already took your contacts out. While you are trying to figure out just what the hell you are going to do, the hole decides that it needs to be a bit bigger...grapefruit sounds good. The water, now spurting up from the ground and falling back down, makes a really pretty waterfall. You realize there is no way in hell you are going to be able to do one dang thing to help this situation. Your neighbor remembers that another neighbor used to work on pools, but worries it is too late to go over there. You advise her that she really doesn't have any other option. He does his best MacGyver moves but nothing is going to stop the flow of water. The liner now now has a 3 foot gap at the seam. What took 3 complete days to put in, took less than 45 minutes to completely empty. On the plus side, your neighbors will not have to water their lawns for a week.
Oh...and this is the same neighbor who "gave" me her trampoline during the windstorm in March. Lets just hope that we don't have any strong winds for the next few days or I might end up with a pool in the yard too, just hopefully it won't go through the window too. We did have to laugh...it was just too crazy not to. Now I am going to go jump in the shower. Yup...nothing beats a late night swim.

Buzzing Lips and Coughing up a Lung

April 24, 2006

Current mood:dorky

My son has wanted to take trumpet lessons for quite some time now. He isn't old enough to attend a class in school, so I started him in private lessons 3 weeks ago. He wants to pick up the horn and just play...no practice involved here. That just doesn't happen. So...while I am sitting here at the computer, I have him behind me tootin' on this trumpet...G G G G F F F F E E E E D D D D C C C C ....repeat. He starts complaining...so I figure I will show him how much improvement he has made since his first "blow" at it. At least his notes aren't quite as scratchy anymore. Hey...I already put up with one child learning an instrument...and a flute is alot higher pitch on the ears. I pick up the horn...place it to my lips (after cleaning off his mouth piece) take a breath and blow. GFGFGAAA .... hack hack cough cough. Not quite what I had intended at all. Now my lips are a buzzin' and I can't quit coughing. He informs me that I did not hit the right notes at all...well DUH. I knew that...I just wanna feel my lips again. Lesson here....a smoker should not try to play the trumpet unless an oxygen tank is handy. Now I know why I chose violin.

A what is where?

March 20, 2006

Current mood:weird

I got an interesting call about 5:30 this evening as I was trying to finish up at the office. My neighbor called to let me know that I have a trampoline in the yard. Not that big of a deal...cept I don't own a trampoline. Even knowing this, I was still surprised at the sight when I rushed home. The wind had picked up her trampoline...and threw it across 2 acres. The thing hit the house...broke the window to the computer room...then somehow twisted itself into a pretzel. I just walked inside...grabbed us both a Smirnoff and headed back out to just stand there and look at it. I have no idea how we are going to get the thing out of the yard. The window is no big deal...I was already thinking of putting a door there once I built a deck. It only broke the outside window. It probably would have been better had I not left the lower inside window open...took an hour to clean up all the glass. No damage that I could see to the house. But now I have a mutilated trampoline to get around in order to feed and water the goats. While we were all looking at the trampoline...my brother called to have our dad come help him get a tree off his roof. I think the wind is targeting our family right now.

Burger King Confusion

March 5, 2006

Current mood:confused

OK...so my son wants to go to Burger King to eat. I hate to cook and we are already in town...so sounds fine to me. I pull up to the drive thru and place my son's order. I want to try the cheesy bacon steak burger but do not know what all is on them. I ask the little speaker dude "Can you tell me what comes on that?" His answer.."Cheese" Well, as my son would say, DUH! That is in the name. So I ask a little more difficult question, "Can you tell my what condiments come on that?" When I heard him ask "Did you say condoms or condiments?" I really started to second guess our Burger King adventure. Now I can honestly say that I have never had any food service worker (fast food included here) ask me what type of condom I wanted with that. Might have to go to Arby's next time...maybe they give out even better prizes.